Fuck You, Foodie.

I can’t believe how well stacked these plates are.

It’s, like, tofu carpaccio.

Sally leaned in and calmly explained that the Texas Rose was nothing at all like the Bloomin’ Onion and that the Down Under Steakhouse was going to take care of that cease and desist order immediately. 

Naked photo hunt champion takes a minute to appreciate his buffalo wings.

typefinder:

Spot the weiner contest. Starting now!

Busted.  ”Fuck you, too.”

The padded walls provide limited comfort during her soulless eating experience.

Nothing captures the subtleties of a well plated dish like candlelight, during a dinner date with your SO of 4 years, who is patiently waiting to propose to you once you’ve finished publishing that to Flickr.  Go ahead.  He’ll wait.

Manhattan may have ruined his board, but pales in comparison to how she ruined breakfast.

The rest of the party watched in horror as he lived out his dream of being a David Attenborough/Auguste Escoffier hybrid; capturing the elusive crepe in the wild. 

say cheese.

“Judge me all you want sweatheart; these oysters are too photogenic to eat.”